Persona 5: Joker's delight
by CplGunshow
Summary: Based on a true story, Joker faces his toughest challenge yet... Image was donated with love by my friend Jack.


Based on true events, spell checked zero times.

"And don't forget to lock up" Sojiro's voice broke Akira out of his trance. He noded in approval, a smile across his face, happy to help coffee dad in order to make his Hermit arcana even stronger.  
Akira grabbed his keys off the side counter, approached the door and locked it quickly and efficiently. "That's our joker" Morgana cheered from behind, noticing Akira's quick lock work skills.  
All of a sudden, a rumbling was heard! Was it an enemy shadow? No, it was Akira's hungry tummy! He patted his belly and though to himself, "huh, Sojiro didn't cook anything for dinner tonight". Approaching the fridge, Akira decided to look for some left over curry ingredients. Raiding every shelf, high to low, front to back, he couldn't find anything!  
Morgana piped up "Jeez Akira, what are we going to have for dinner tonight!?"  
Akira twiddled the front of his fringe in deep thought, if there was no left over curry then what would they have for dinner? He went through cupboards one by one, looking for something to eat, when all of a sudden he found it!  
It was a left over tin of ravioli! He admired the front of the can: "made with Haru's tomatoes, a whole tomato in ever tin!" He nodded to himself approvingly, this would sustain his hunger! He proudly showed the tin to Morgana, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. Morgana looked up with a smile "Woah!" it looked absolutely delicious to the feline AND it was healthy!

Akira couldn't wait to get stuck into the sloppy surprise, he pulled out his thieves lockpicks and began working on the tin. The lid popped open quickly, but unfortunately he had spent too much time talking to Takemi, the local doctor, that he had not made enough tools to use as cutlery! He cursed at himself silently, as he is a silent protagonist and does not talk. All of the knives, forks and spoons were in the dish washer right now, what would he do!? He had no choice.  
Morgana, watching this take place, knew what Akira was thinking. "Uh, let's not do that today!" Morgana stated with an awkward smile. They had visited mementos today so Akira wouldn't have the energy to Devour the stinky substance, thank God! Akira simply smiled back at Morgana though, it was then that he remembered, Akira had had his school teacher (who is also a prostitute, that's right, I said it James.) round that evening to give him a massage, he was feeling invincible right now!

Akira luckily had enough guts to handle the task ahead of him, the big burger challenge was no match for him, and this can of ravioli wouldn't best him either. He didn't even have time to sit down, his tummy was rumbling even louder now! Reaching into the tin, he pulled out the first piece of ravioli, covered in it's slimey sauce, he brought it closer to his mouth. Morgana stared in shock as the disgusting act began to take place, Akira stuffed piece after piece of the slooshy sludge into his mouth, chewing loudly with his open mouth. Slosh, slosh, slosh. The juices spilled out of his mouth and down his turtleneck, but Akira didn't care. He was in a trance right now, as if he had a fever and the only cure was: More ravioli!  
Morgana looked on in disgust as Akira ignored the beeps from his phone and carried on munching on the filthy food, pouring juices on the floor as he dug his greasy fingers in the can, grabbing pieces of ravioli by the plentyful and smooshing them into his full mouth before even chewing and swallowing the chewey chunks. He began to lick his fingers inbetween mouthfulls, sometimes accidently dropping pieces of ravioli out of his mouth and onto the floor, as he approached the end of his meal he felt a sense of sadness overwhelming him. He chewed up and swallowed the last few pieces of ravioli, before taking the tin and tipping it back into his mouth, so he could swallow the saucyness of Haru's tomatos. He felt his SP bar raise as he gulped down the fruity gravy. To make sure he didn't leave any residue, he got down on all floors and began to eat the rest of the chunks that had spilled out of his mouth and onto the floor. He felt no sense of disgust in himself, however, Morgana was straight up terrified.  
Akira licked his lips, sucked the grime off of his finger tips and through the tin into the recylcing, because even though he had given up his will to be a reasonably human being, he still cared about the environment. He felt proud of his accomplishment today trying to fight through the depression of ending his dinner, he looked at his tomato stained clothes and felt a sense of purpouse. He looked over at Morgana, who was trying his best to not be sick, making a strange cat regurgitating sound and then looked back towards the cupboard where he had secured the ravioli. Maybe one more tin wouldn't hurt?


End file.
